confidence .. ( gathering one )

Though the trek to Fourtrees wasn't particularly long, the young medicine cat had made longer journeys to the Moonstone numerous times, it still sent a starkly present stiffness into her joints which made the thought of it quite intimidating. Aside from the discomfort her own body would provide, would be the added anxiety of being surrounded by so many cats. It was a foolish concern, but one she harbored all the same. She was protected, by the truce and by her clanmates, but still the fear was there that something would happen; that something would go wrong. As she hobbled along behind Pinestar, half limping half carrying her disfigured hind leg, darker thoughts began to cloud her mind. Among the clans was it not possible that those rogues might have...? Her fears trailed off, and when the fiery hued tabby realized where they were turning she severed them completely. She couldn't go there again, not to that hollow place where an empty terror slept and waited for her to return. She couldn't go backwards to the days when she slept in fitful nightmares. What was it all worth - all the time she had put in to be of use to her clan - if she threw it away now over idiotic daydreaming? The she-cat huffed, her paws carrying more purpose, as if she could physically move past her doubts.

Thankfully, her thoughts were disrupted by Pinestar’s pause at the edge of the trees, the sacred gathering place bloated with the presence and scents of cats from the other clans. Tawnygaze allowed herself a glance around the space from where she stood at her leader’s flank before turning a shyly expectant eye to him. ”Enjoy yourself, Skyclan has nothing to hide.” The leader’s meow address the clan, his gaze moving amongst the front runners of their convoy in turn. When the bright ambers settled on her, something in the medicine cat felt smaller and she wanted to shrink away foolishly. It wasn’t fear that made her shy away from the tom, at least not a fear of the tom himself.

However, Pinestar was giving the signal for them to descend into the clearing, and Tawnygaze’s spiraling thoughts turned to the gathering. She padded forward daintily, each snowy paw carefully choosing its next resting place in short strides. The medicine cat glanced back at her apprentice affectionately, and mewed softly to the younger cat, ”Feel free to seek out the other apprentices, dear. This is your first gathering after all, so you should enjoy it and have fun.” Tawnygaze offered Tigerpaw a soft smile, continuing onward to seek out the other medicine cats. Perhaps after checking in with them there might be time to visit with some of the other cats. Hawkpaw in particular would most likely be grateful of the company. She had caught a glance of his face when speaking to Tigerpaw, and unlike his clanmates he hadn’t seemed so excited. Rather a sense of dread had surrounded him like a bad omen- Tawnygaze flicked her tail in irritation, striking away her thoughts as she realized they once again had turned toward that dark corner in the back corners of her mind.

Tawnygaze arrived upon her medicine cat comrades a bit late, having been forced to hobble through the sea of cats rushing about to greet old friends and meet new ones. When she finally reached them, she seemed to have just missed some sort of altercation, or perhaps she had happened upon the beginning of one. Briefly, she considered the option of finding alternate company, but she feared her bright pelt might have already been seen by one of them so she continued on dutifully. ”Ah, good evening Beetleberry,” Tawnygaze offered softly, taking a seat a respectful distance away from the already seated cats before continuing with, ”Nettleheart, Sparrowpelt.” A smile was passed to each of the other medicine cats in turn, and their apprentices with them. However, she gave a slight start when her gaze fell upon Swiftfoot, glancing between the other medicine cats questioningly as if they might offer some sort of explanation toward the she-cat’s presence. As far as she knew, it wasn’t often that deputies were prone to visit with medicine cats at gatherings. ”Oh.. Swiftfoot..” She had meant to say something pleasant, offer a ‘good evening’ or a ‘how are you’ but instead the words balked from her tongue with the speaking of the other cat’s name as if merely voicing the syllables could harm her. However, she was not the only anomaly to be present, as Whitewater stood present as well. Tawnygaze swallowed and offered him a smile as well. Blackpaw, and Sparrowpelt too had approached a moment before her, and she took comfort at having a 'paw around. She cast about, searching for her own apprentice.