- behind the mask i'm [lost] | Closed

- behind the mask i'm [lost] Apr 29, 2016 3:11:18 GMT

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Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2016 3:11:18 GMT

masks we wear

REMNANTS LEFT OF A TIME WE ONCE KNEW, WE CAN NEVER GO BACK TO THAT.

The moorland was quiet today. Save for the gentle tickle of the wind that sent shivering waves through the tall grass, not even the birds seemed keen to grace WindClan with their songs. The scent of moisture and ozone in the atmosphere signaled a rainstorm on the way, though it would probably be a while before it reached the Forest. The lowest sounds of thunder rumbling in the distance was an ominous sign, and perhaps the reason why nothing seemed to be out in the open despite the relatively sunny day. Still, the silence in the middle of sunhigh was a welcome reprieve from the chaos of camp, which was why he had trekked out here. Sometimes one had to just find some peace and that's exactly what Shrikeswipe was looking for. The rocky outcropping he'd chosen as a getaway was perilous on any given day, but the mental challenge of navigating the dangerous ledges kept his wits sharp and the thoughts of what awaited him back in camp at bay. Talon sharp claws scraped against unforgiving stone as he clawed his way to the top of a higher ledge, muscles pulsing beneath his long gray pelt as he was easily carted higher and higher. Aiming for the top, where he was that much closer to the sky and farther away from the troubles that plagued his mind and heart. So much was so wrong these days, and the only way Shrikeswipe knew how to deal with wrong was with his claws. There was so much 'wrong' that could be dealt with that way: warriors from another Clan overstepping their boundaries, a predator going after a kit, a piece of prey on the run that could feed one more member of the Clan. But this kind of 'wrong' couldn't be fixed with claws and fangs.

How then, in StarClan's name, was he suppose to fix this 'wrong' that infected his family?

With a small grunt of effort, the gray warrior had managed to finally make it to the summit of the outcrop, the sound of his claws scratching against the stone echoing in the silent expanse before him. Up here, the wind was slightly stronger, playing with his long pelt like it did the grass and pushing it aside to tickle his skin. The bite of the breeze had him closing his eyes and turning his back to it as he found a level spot to sit upon, turning his gaze instead to the expanse of grass that lay before him. In the distance, he could just make out the barn, where rogues and loners made their home. To his west, enemy territory, to his east, unknown borders, and behind him lay the WindClan camp somewhere. A great sigh heaved its way from his lungs as he let himself relax. No one would think to look for him here, at least no one of importance. Goldenfang might, that tom always knew where to locate him when he didn't want to be found, but he doubted his former mentor would seek him out today. For all the tom knew how to find him, he also knew when to leave him alone. And right now that was all Shrikeswipe wanted. To be alone with his thoughts and just think. Slowly, the warrior let himself slide till his stomach touched chilly rock, his fore paws hanging off the ledge as he continued to stare out into the distance. Today, he'd gotten into a fierce debate with Shrewtongue, over what he couldn't even remember, but it drove the fact that the wedge between Shrikeswipe and his family was growing everyday. Once upon a time, Shrikeswipe, Shrewtongue and Sheepwhisker had been inseparable... now looking at them, it was as though those days were nothing more than a distant memory.

Starting with Nightingaleheart's death, things just seemed to keep going further downhill. Several of Shrikeswipe's family still grieved the tom; his mother especially. Shrikeswipe on the other hand knew he would one day see his father and sister again, and refused to grieve them anymore than he already had. They were hunting and sharing tongues with StarClan now, away from pain and hunger and illness. Why should he grieve them when their suffering had long ended? The only thing that saddened him about their absence was that they were no longer around to talk with - perhaps, a selfish part of his mind argued, they would understand his view better. Or perhaps they would see things like others had been. Who was to know? He supposed that was what had truly brought him out here into loneliness. The lonely were better off without the company of others after all, and great StarClan did Shrikeswipe ever feel lonely today. His heart clenched in his chest at the thought, so tight and painful his claws unsheathed unconsciously to grind at the stone beneath him. The only thing he could do with his claws in this situation. How he was suppose to find the words to fix this misunderstanding was beyond him - he'd always been an action first think later kind of warrior.

A sudden sound from below caught his ear, his forest green gaze flicking downward and tearing his thoughts away from the serious things. Raising his head slightly, he searched the grassy terrain for any sight of a body. One soft whiff of the wind, and he easily recognized the fragile scent - one that caused his heart to sputter against his rib cage. "Didn't think you'd be out here. Are you on the hunt? Or just patrolling?" he called down, though not unkindly. Never unkindly.

967 WORDS

@lost ONLY

BROODY KITTY IS BROODY. xD

deltra of gangnam style

- behind the mask i'm [lost] May 29, 2016 4:16:26 GMT

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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2016 4:16:26 GMT

she was scarcely aware of the sun beating down upon her back, igniting her spine with a vivid warmth. she didn't notice the whispering wind, or the tickle of the grass blades against her pads. had she paid mind, she might have enjoyed the vast blue sky overhead or the ebbing silence in the absence of her clan mates.

yet her mind screamed.

there was no silence, not really. a low rumble off in the distance promised almost certain storms ahead. the clouds brewed and rolled, deep with dark hues of blues and greys. surely the wind would pick up as the storm approached, the sun would die behind the clouds and with it the warmth. so why was she out here now? pressing farther and farther into the territory? father and farther from the safety of camp? farther and farther from rabbitleap?

she already knew the answer to that - she could almost taste a bitter bile on her tongue at the very thought. don't you know? he doesn't want you anymore. she knew - she knew it too well. her heart sputtered and her throat closed up. can you blame him though, foxcloud? that dark forest-foresaken voice in her head could never be silences - not like the birds could, before the storm. you did, after all, betray him, love.

the selfish part of her wanted to rebel, wanted to defend her morale with everything she could. she hadn't betrayed him - not really. she'd only done what she thought was best, she wanted to give him everything he wanted. yet she could not give him kits. foxcloud didn't want to tell her mate that their efforts were fruitless, all they needed was a little help! a little white lie couldn't hurt, could it?

yet it had. that little white lie blackened and charred before it even reached the light. if only sheepwhisker could have given her what she had wanted. if only he'd kept his mouth shut. if only...

sheepwhisker. again the bile flared up on her tongue. she wanted to resent that tom. she wanted to blame him for all the misfortune placed upon her shoulders. a small part of foxcloud told her that was not her - that bitterness was not apart of her nature. yet she wasn't herself, not anymore at least. too quickly had her life, her future, melted away like water through her paws. she knew that she could never pick it up again, never put it back together exactly the way it had once been. the damage was unchangeable, irreversible.

so she knew now, why she tread farther and farther from camp, heading the oncoming storm. it was to get away. to get away from him. to get away from sheepwhisker. to get away from all of them. "didn't think you'd be out here." the voice was alarming to the untuned ear. her pale orange tabby head shot up while the she-cat's body pressed lower to the earth. it took a few moments to register the voice, then amber eyes trailed up to meet the grey tom atop his throne. shrikeswipe - the tom who, perhaps, was foxcloud's only salvation. the only being who could silence her tortured mind, if only for a bit. while foxcloud's mission had been isolation, she knew now that she needed his company.

"and here i was thinking i was alone in these winds." foxcloud purred back softly, straightening up and dipping her head. "i'm just... wandering, more like. would you like to join me?" she did not feel like talking, not entirely. but she wanted him there. she wanted something to numb the hurt, to fill the void and ease the hole that felt gaping in her chest. foxcloud had too much time on her paws to soul search, never truly being able to escape her own mind. but for now, shrikeswipe could be that something to make it just a little more bearable.

@hawkpaw