Post by Decadence on Jan 15, 2016 1:19:26 GMT
So, I really have to apologize for my absence.
On the 22nd of december: my boyfriend broke up with me because I quote, "he wasn't attracted to me and never was/thought we could make it on our chemistry alone"
On the 24th of december: depressed and consumed with depression, I got black out drunk and texted my ex how I missed him and was hopeful he'd think things through after six months - night resulted in me falling asleep with a liter of vodka as my pillow.
On the 25th of december: I babysat at the brother's house and fell asleep before everyone, and my ex admitted he missed me and me being in his bed with my pillow which confused me along with him saying that he really cared about me and how he always imagined us having kids and being married. This confused the hell out of me and gave me hope which is never a good thing.
On the 26th of december: My niece also decided to throw my phone face first onto a marble floor cracking the screen. My brother and me spent FIVE hours in metro pcs getting new phones. 1000 later here I am. Lol. paying it off twice a month til april yo. Went to see my ex - we caught feels and then I went home where I found out my sister-in-law who's kids I watched the day before told my sister aka who I used to live with that I said her bf beat her which I never had because she is psycho and was upset I was out with my brother for five hours.
-Homeless.-
Ask ex to stay at his which is extremely awkward but where else can I go?
On the 27th-30th of december, I feel used, downtrodden and like I have no one on earth I can talk to. I become suicidal and realize my risk ratio. Ex tells me he is going on 10 day trip to israel. I have mixed feelings because I will get place to myself but will be even more alone. Sleeping, eating, and everything alone. Depression sinks in a little harder. Sister won't even speak to me because of my sister in law and her bf is even more upset at me than her. Which kills me because I have always valued his opinion.
On the 31st of december, I ish alone but have my bestie roomie and her bf to keep me some company. Still kinda a recluse though because I just feel to emotional to be around anyone really. Focus on work. Work, Work, nothing else worth time. Text ex while he is in israel to make sure he doesn't want me to wait because I know I need closure. He says no, only no. I go out with friends for new years eve and spent 240 to get into a club resulting in being broke all week but I got to dance and feel pretty for a moment and plus free entry for the whole year.
On the 1st to 7th of january, get used to being alone and focus on trying to be single and flirt what not. Met a chill guy, kissed and hung out. But hung out again and his phone was bugging. I got bad vibes and made him return me home and haven't heard from him since. Think he knew I could tell something was up. lol.
To be continued. lol
On the 22nd of december: my boyfriend broke up with me because I quote, "he wasn't attracted to me and never was/thought we could make it on our chemistry alone"
On the 24th of december: depressed and consumed with depression, I got black out drunk and texted my ex how I missed him and was hopeful he'd think things through after six months - night resulted in me falling asleep with a liter of vodka as my pillow.
On the 25th of december: I babysat at the brother's house and fell asleep before everyone, and my ex admitted he missed me and me being in his bed with my pillow which confused me along with him saying that he really cared about me and how he always imagined us having kids and being married. This confused the hell out of me and gave me hope which is never a good thing.
On the 26th of december: My niece also decided to throw my phone face first onto a marble floor cracking the screen. My brother and me spent FIVE hours in metro pcs getting new phones. 1000 later here I am. Lol. paying it off twice a month til april yo. Went to see my ex - we caught feels and then I went home where I found out my sister-in-law who's kids I watched the day before told my sister aka who I used to live with that I said her bf beat her which I never had because she is psycho and was upset I was out with my brother for five hours.
-Homeless.-
Ask ex to stay at his which is extremely awkward but where else can I go?
On the 27th-30th of december, I feel used, downtrodden and like I have no one on earth I can talk to. I become suicidal and realize my risk ratio. Ex tells me he is going on 10 day trip to israel. I have mixed feelings because I will get place to myself but will be even more alone. Sleeping, eating, and everything alone. Depression sinks in a little harder. Sister won't even speak to me because of my sister in law and her bf is even more upset at me than her. Which kills me because I have always valued his opinion.
On the 31st of december, I ish alone but have my bestie roomie and her bf to keep me some company. Still kinda a recluse though because I just feel to emotional to be around anyone really. Focus on work. Work, Work, nothing else worth time. Text ex while he is in israel to make sure he doesn't want me to wait because I know I need closure. He says no, only no. I go out with friends for new years eve and spent 240 to get into a club resulting in being broke all week but I got to dance and feel pretty for a moment and plus free entry for the whole year.
On the 1st to 7th of january, get used to being alone and focus on trying to be single and flirt what not. Met a chill guy, kissed and hung out. But hung out again and his phone was bugging. I got bad vibes and made him return me home and haven't heard from him since. Think he knew I could tell something was up. lol.
To be continued. lol
