[eye to eye] fallingsnow

Locustflight...wasn't particularly socially skilled. He could do most things, talk to most clanmates and that jazz but to be honest he seldom had meaningful interactions with his clanmates. They would discuss the weather, tut at him for sleeping so late in the day, shake their heads in a bemused way and pass along to do whatever they were doing before they found his current napping spot. The exceptions were of course his sisters but even they didn't spend as much time around him as they once had. For the most part ThunderClan accepted Locustflight's lazy nature and left him at it. Conversations were short, often quite dull and Locustflight was free to let his mind wander a million miles away instead of focusing on the mundane chatter of clan life. Naturally the other warriors would catch on after a while that the sandy tom's eyes had become distant or believe he'd dozed off mid-conversation, they'd roll their eyes and walk away. This...today...none of that was relevant. The pattern was broken and for the first time in his life Locustflight didn't know what to do. His skin felt hot and tight against his bones, the sun seemed too bright and...and Fallingsnow was leaving.

Panic zinged through Locustflight, unexpected and jolting. His heart skipped a beat and shuddered against his ribs in a way the young warrior had never experienced. Not even when one of his sisters came out of a fight wounded or turned up ill. This...this was new and the suddenness of it left the long-limbed tom frozen for a split second. Long enough for Fallingsnow to turn tail and run, her crisp white pelt vanishing into the tall grass. Her words hung in the air, a rambling jumble that chased itself around in Locustflight's mind. He tried to shake it down, to sort it all, to put it back in the right order but it felt like someone had turned him upside down and shaken him.

"Wait!"

Without really thinking about it the skinny tom was in motion, bounding after his clanmate. He felt clumsy this time, like the grass was trying to rear up and tangle around his feet, trip him up and make him lose focus. Blue eyes narrowing a bit, Locustflight tried to follow Fallingsnow's path as she left the clearing, frustrated with his long limbs for the first time since he'd had his first growth spurt. They'd never really felt awkward or clumsy, not since he'd been very young but suddenly they felt like traitors.

"Fallingsnow hold on," Locustflight called, skidding out of the tall grass and catching a glimpse of her white pelt glowing in the afternoon sun. "I didn't mean...I didn't mean to offend you..." The words tasted strange on his tongue. Foreign. Locustflight tried to spit them out in the right order anyway. "I just...I don't do this often." It sounded lame even in his own ears. It felt out of place, disjointed. "I..." He flailed for a moment, searching for something to say that sounded actually halfway decent but nothing came to mind except... "I'm...not good at having a personality I guess..."

Wow those words were truer than any he'd ever spoken. Locustflight had always let his sisters overrun him, their vibrant and demanding tendencies overriding any of Locustflight's natural playfulness or cleverness. They demanded his time and his energy, smothered him with their petty fights and cornered him away from other apprentices and kits when they'd been young. Now Locustflight was used to the personality they'd given him: the lazy warrior that could be witty when he chose but most often just slept the world away because when he was awake things were bright and loud and...spinning by without ever noticing if he participated or not. It sounded pathetic but Locustflight swallowed against taking the statement back because it wasn't wrong. Laughing, playing, chasing each other around a meadow? Maybe if he'd grown up alone Locustflight would be more playful and it would be easier for him to step off the sidelines but...Fallingsnow didn't need to know that. It wasn't her problem. Sighing, Locustflight sat back on his haunches. Oh well...she'd probably go back to camp and tell Wolfheart how much of a weirdo he was. That wasn't a new rumor but it would certainly have a new spin to it now. That would be interesting for a bit at least.

TAGGED · :✶:freya.
NOTES · awkward locust is awkward

Emotions were...strange things in Loucstflight's mind. He understood them as well as the next cat, or at least he thought he did and it wasn't like he pathologically lacked the ability to love or feel empathy. No, that wasn't the problem. The problem was Locustflight seldom expressed emotion, in part because he had a mild persona. He was the cat that lingered in the background and watched chaos unfold, subtly working the edge of the crowd to do damage control or weaving behind one of his sisters on a warpath and murmuring apologies to his clanmates on their behalf. Strong personalities...overwhelmed him, made him disappear, much like strong emotions generally swept over him and washed him away. He felt things, felt the deeply, but seldom expressed them. Many of his clanmates saw this as laziness or even a few had mentioned he could look a bit cold sometimes but Locustflight had never really bothered to think about the repercussions of this. What he felt seldom mattered in the grand scheme of things. His reaction to an announcement, declaration or argument seldom changed the tide of anything or appeared to have any pivotal importance so Locustflight was content to remain washed out in the background in his own little world.

Today though...that had been turned on its head. All because of one stunning white she-cat with the most colorful eyes in the clan.

'I just thought... I just want to understand. I want to know you. Not just as a friend.'

They had always been friends, Locustflight and Fallingsnow. There was a six moon gap in their ages that had kept them from being apprentices together for long but he could remember they'd gotten along from the moment they met. She'd been so small back then, dwarfed by her sister Wolfheart. Maybe that was why Locustflight had been drawn to say hi when they were young. He was dwarfed by his sisters and their planet sized personalities and one-cat dramas. They synchrony Fallingsnow and Wolfheart had always shared had been so different from the three ring circus Locustflight dealt with every day. He could still remember after her injury how down and out Fallingsnow had been, resigned by her physical injuries and wary of the future. How many hours had he spent in the medicine cat's den, when he was sure Blueberry was asleep, lending an ear to the frustrations Wolfheart didn't want to hear or Fallingsnow didn't have the heart to tell?

He had always been the listening ear for anyone that needed one, a lockbox for his clanmates to keep their insecurities because it was easy for them to write of Locustflight as an unemotional sort of cat. He'd never quite say they were wrong but today Locustflight felt it. He could taste it on his tongue, desire to see what Fallingsnow was offering. She had always been different. To ThunderClan but also to Locustflight. She was the first cat to ever want to understand him. That didn't accept the lazy persona and write it off as a character flaw. That was...frightening. It was his defense against many things but here she was looking like he held a great secret and she wanted to hear it. Without meaning to Locustflight's whiskers twitched as he smiled, long limbs slowly moving him closer to the white she-cat. He didn't want to move too quickly in case she spooked and ran, emotionally charged and uncertain. He wanted to put her at ease.

Brushing his muzzle gently against Fallingsnow's cheek, Locustflight purred softly. "I can't promise there's a lot to learn," Locustflight said, his voice soft as he studied Fallingsnow's enchanting eyes. "But I think I'd like to know you as more than a friend too. You've always been able to turn my boring world upside down."

TAGGED · :✶:freya.
NOTES · blerb