AGAIN (river) | Closed | Chasing the Sun

AGAIN (river) May 12, 2016 9:35:53 GMT SYNTAX likes this

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Post by crescendo on May 12, 2016 9:35:53 GMT

i still have too long - a life ahead - just to

g i v e u p a n d d r o p a l l o f t h e s e d r e a m s

Any cat in WindClan knew that a rookie mistake—a deadly mistake—was to sleep without another cat nearby to watch your back. Theirs was a territory that was more open than any of the Clans, and while it suited WindClan warriors just fine that meant there was a certain level of risk that the other warrior cats had never truly faced. Young kits were watched closely, warriors guarded the camp and apprentices were taught to spot danger from far away. A full grown warrior didn’t have much to worry about from the hawks that soared overhead because they tended to be big enough to beat them off, but that didn’t mean it was ever a good idea to take a damn nap in the middle of the territory.

In Sandpaw’s defense, he was exhausted. A decent sleep hadn’t come to him for nearly a moon—interrupted by the ghostly face of Tony and the wailing cry of Jasper in his ears. He was slowly growing worried that the spirit of his dead friend wasn’t at rest—did Loners without a single tie to a Clan go to StarClan? Tony had believed in it, had prayed to them as much as Sandpaw, did that mean he was there now? Or was he wandering around in starless skies, lost and cursing Sandpaw for his untimely death? The thought was driving the apprentice into a near frenzy almost all the time.

He hadn’t meant to fall asleep. He’d stumbled over a stone and found that his paws didn’t want to move to pick him up again. His warrior’s assessment was right around the corner and here he was, passing out after being given the simplest of tasks. Unaware of where he was or what potential danger could be creeping up on him.

It wasn’t—despite being an impromptu sleep—a peaceful one. His paws twitched and soft whimpers drifted from his mouth every now and again. These morphed into whining cries, and finally Sandpaw’s eyes flew open and he sprang to his paws in a panic. The warm sun had made his pale pelt warm during his nap, and he was disoriented and confused for a few heartbeats. He swung his head around, trying to slow the beating of his heart and stumbling over his paws like a confused kit.

This is a good time for Swiftfoot to come waltzing in on you, Sandpaw thought bitterly. Again.

A groan drifted out of his throat, and he pulled himself into a sitting position. The more time passed the worse he felt he got—how was he ever going to be a decent warrior for his Clan? Forget that, how was he going to survive the moon? Sandpaw pawed at his face uncomfortably for a few moments, wishing desperately that he could escape the heavy feeling in his heart. The thought made him feel a sharp pang of guilt, and he curled his tail close to himself.

“Maybe I should just go,” Sandpaw muttered, and almost wanted to laugh. It would have been too easy a solution. Leave. Never look back. Run away like a coward—some part of him couldn’t bring himself to do it. He suddenly realized sharply that he was perhaps punishing himself. Forcing himself to wallow and feel the guilt of his crime under the nose of his Clan-mates—allowing himself to know only too well just how much worth he had compared to any of them. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

i j u s t w a n t t o t r y a n d f i x
all the things that i've left undone

TAGGED: ` r i v e r WORD COUNT: 581
OOC: this character is actively the angstiest character i've written since 2010 ROFL high school me would love him. LYRICS: 'Again (English Cover)' as sung by Natewantstobattle

AGAIN (river) May 15, 2016 23:00:29 GMT

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Post by ` r i v e r on May 15, 2016 23:00:29 GMT

Where in StarClan’s name was his apprentice?

Rabbitear stomped around camp, questioning anyone around if they had taken him out, if they had seen the tan-coloured mouse brain leave the open camp. He huffed, shaking his head in annoyance. Before becoming a mentor, the tom wouldn't have blinked an eye at the thought of an apprentice alone, or even missing. He scarcely had cared about anyone but himself. And the first few moons of his mentorship he had retained said apathy. However, responsibility had grown like a weed in the generally irresponsible WindClanner. He suspected that was Redstar’s plan.

But it wasn’t like Sandpaw to disappear without telling him. He left, left very frequently actually, but always gave Rabbit some sort of warning. Out of respect, the warrior liked to tell himself. Though, come to mention it, he had early on been suspicious of his apprentice’s ‘extra hunting trips.’ The amount of prey he returned with never coincided with his skill. He must have had help. Rabbit had considered, for a while, tracking the less experienced tom but, after picking up what he was sure was the scent of a foreign she-cat, dropped the idea. His departures had never interfered with his training. If anything, Sandpaw had become even brighter. Had proceeded to ask even more questions (if that was possible). Had seemed significantly happier. Thus, Rabbitear assumed romance with an outsider. He debated telling Redstar, but had immediately scoffed at the idea. Yeah, right. He had contemplated confronting his apprentice about the lucky lady. But, he never could bring himself to do it. She-cat was a she-cat in Rabbit's eyes, no matter the clan allegiance. So, they had remained at a stand still, both, he was sure, aware that the other knew.

Despite all his shortcomings- the bossiness, the egocentrism, the infuriating way he would relentlessly prod Rabbitear from his frequent midday naps for a hot, impromptu training session, the kid had heart. He was always willing to push himself. He radiated confidence; life, even. And although this was, at times, downright exhausting, Rabbit had slowly developed some sort of bond with the young cat. Sandpaw reminded him of himself (on the Abyssinian tom’s good days, that is) when he was younger. Though, that wasn’t necessarily a good thing.

Deciding that Sandpaw must be outside of the camp, Rabbitear departed the WindClan hub with an exasperated hiss. He picked up the cat’s scent deep into the territory, on the moors. It was hard to hide in such a bare expanse of land. Not that Sandpaw was doing that. No, there he was, laying in the sun on the top of a cresting hill, in clear sight of every creature from dozens of fox-lengths off. Who was this apprentice? Certainly not his! At least when he took a nap in the territory, he made sure he was in some dip or surrounded by brush or wild grass. Rabbitear narrowed his eyes, shaking his head in annoyance.

Ha! And this cat was to become a warrior in a moon?

The tom approached, moving through a field of tall grass, ready to lay a strip into his apprentice. As he got closer, Rabbitear heard the whines. They were the sounds of a nightmare, he was sure. Of a restless sleep. Curious, he lowered his body to the ground, moved downwind, and slunk forwards. He peered through the blades, saw Sandpaw jerk awake and stumble over his paws.

What had gotten into him?

“Maybe I should just go.”

This caused Rabbitear to materialize from behind the grass, green eyes squinted in annoyance and tail lashing.

“Go?” he spat, “Go back to camp, maybe, because clearly you can’t be trusted to be out here alone. I’ve seen kits with more common sense, Sandpaw, for StarClan’s sake.”

The look in his apprentice’s eyes, an emotion bordering on despair, made him soften his tone slightly and his tail lay flat.

“What do you think you’re doing out here, anyways?”

notes: crescendo