Post by crescendo on Apr 3, 2016 6:45:55 GMT
sometimes the hurt is so deep
y o u t h i n k t h a t y o u ’ r e g o n n a d r o w n
The warm weather hadn’t yet managed to chase the icy chill of snowmelt from the river and Duckstep was gritting her teeth at the dull ache in her right leg. It was noticeable almost all the time, but damp and cold always seemed to make it worse. Which—of course—was a tad difficult to avoid when one happened to live in RiverClan. She shoved it into the back of her mind though, her determination had long since learned to quell the constant pain into something deemed unimportant. It did not belong in the forefront of her mind and so in the back she would force it to stay. It was better that way, for her and the rest of the Clan. Duckstep had loathed the look of pity in the eyes of those around her in the first moons after her accident, but now that she’d earned her warrior name they tended to be fleeting. Sometimes she saw them looking at her with awe—that tended to inspire a strange mixture of amusement, annoyance and relief in her.
C’mon, you’ve got work to do.
Right. Duckstep rocked back until she was squatting entirely on her powerful haunches. Most cats could not balance on their hindlegs for long, but it was a better way to fish. It had taken awhile to get the balance quite right, and her core had needed strengthening that felt foreign and strange, but soon she was able to sit back on her hind legs as if she’d been born doing it. She knew it looked strange—there was a reason she was out hunting alone right now. As cheerful as she tried to portray herself, she didn’t care for the staring she got from some of her clan-mates. It made a hollow, uncomfortable feeling settle in her stomach.
Seriously? What’s with you today?
She knew what was with her. Duckstep forced her gaze to the water. The sky was gray and casting everything around her in shadow—decent fishing weather. It was probably why her leg ached though. She swayed in place for a few moments, rocking slightly with the breeze. A shadow flickered just below the surface of the water, and she shifted her balance. Her hindclaws dug into the pebbles under her feet, and she hooked the fish out with her good paw. It flopped through the air in an arc and landed behind her. She clubbed it with the same paw a heartbeat later, killing the flopping creature.
“See? Wasn’t so hard,” Duckstep purred to herself, pleased with her catch. She glanced skyward, discomfort flashing over her features. She never said it to her clan-mates—she didn’t like others to worry about her—but she hated the rain. It drove her thoughts backward into a dark place, and served largely as her distraction for the day. It would probably be better if she wasn’t alone, but then they would notice when she drifted into herself. She preferred to weather the sadder feelings alone and show a bright smile to those she loved as much as possible.
That way nobody else gets hurt.
As the thought occurred to her a fat raindrop hit her on her nose. Duckstep stopped and tilted her head back and the sky let go. She was soaked in moments, and her throat felt like it was closing tightly but she continued to stare upward. There was something sad welling up in her chest that she couldn’t quite place but she let it hold her there. Sometimes it wasn’t that bad to feel it.
s o m e t i m e s a l l i c a n d o i s w e e p
with all this rain coming down
with all this rain coming down
TAGGED: @hawkpaw WORD COUNT: 595
OOC: feeling a little melancholy, even the sun hides when it rains LYRICS: 'Rain' by Patty Griffin