watcher of the eternal flame {open/blue}

Amberstone stopped, her forepaws nearly touching the river's edge. She looked up at the sky, to the top of the cliffs. Heronheart died here... when she was an apprentice. Guilt still stabbed at her heart at the memory. Did her Heronheart hate her? It was her fault. Amberstone started that border skirmish.

If she had behaved her mother would still be here. Sloethorn wouldn't hate her either. How can you fix such a mistake? One that takes lives? How can you fix what can't be undone? That no matter how much you apologize its never enough. Amberstone knew that by learning what she learned from it she could prevent such a thing from happening, prevent making the same mistake. That still doesn't change what happened.

Her orange eyes reflected the light from the moon. She eyed it awed by it's beauty. Amberstone knew that being out here is dangerous. There are dangers and owls. Owls could be dangerous for regular sized adult cats but Amberstone wasn't a regular sized. Due to being born nearly a moon early she was smaller than normal cats. She can often be mistaken for an apprentice because of her small size. Owls can definitely grab her if she didn't pay attention. Amberstone wasn't afraid to die however. She was sure she could handle herself. She is fast and clever. Fierce and reliable, just as her name suggests.

However, if someone was with her she would have been more alert. In fact she wouldn't have gone out of camp if someone went with her at this time of the night. She may not be afraid to die but she doesn't want any of her Clanmates to die or get hurt. Not because of her actions. Amberstone sat down, wrapping her forepaws around her plum tail. The movement with her tail brushed the water and caused ripples. The reflection of the moon shook and was distorted. Amberstone lifted her tail a little and shook the water that clung to her fur out.

"Amberstone?" a voice sounded behind her. Amberstone's right ear twitched and looked behind her. Her muscles were tensed, prepared to jump up into fighting position. Orange eyes fell on the spotted warrior she knew as Spottedowl. Instantly, Amberstone relaxed. There was no need for alarm. "What are you doing out here? It's not safe..." he trailed off, slowing his pace as he padded towards her.

Amberstone's whiskers twitched. "I know, but... I just needed to get out of camp," Amberstone murmured, ears drooping slightly. She turned her head away till again she was looking at the river, the waterfall, the cliff. "It's so beautiful," she whispered, her eyes looking at the water surface. Amberstone wondered maybe she should head back to her den for more sleep. Maybe this walk helped somewhat? Or not.

Amberstone decided that she would stay out here for a while longer. Maybe even all night. It's tough for her to sleep after a nightmare. It had always been like that since she was a kit. Some may be able to go back to sleep after but after a nightmare it's next to impossible for Amberstone to sleep. Nightmares didn't come very often for her. The most times Amberstone had nightmares was right after Heronheart died. After working through the grief the nightmares gradually grew less and less. Once and awhile she would get nightmares. Mostly about her mother. It wasn't quite trauma but a mixture of it with guilt. A lot of guilt. Now she suffers from nightmares once every few moons. Most of them are triggered by arguments with her sister Sloethorn. Like the one she had yesterday when Amberstone tried to approach her and Sloethorn snapping at her. It also didn't help much that Amberstone is thirty-six moons old, right around the age Heronheart was before she died.

"It is," Spottedowl agreed. Amberstone looked over and found the spotted tom sitting beside her just a little behind. It felt awkward but most of all Amberstone was embarrassed that he had to see this side of her. Honestly, she's not usually like this. Just that nightmares always had a tendency to disturb her. They were like earthquakes to her. Not enough to break her. "The river's good at keeping secrets. Is that why you came out here?"

Amberstone thought about it for a moment. It had occurred to her that every time she suffered from a nightmare she went to the river. After the border skirmish incident Amberstone had found herself come to the waterfall. Something about the sound was peaceful to her ears. "When I was a kit and just had a nightmare, Heronheart always took me to the edge of the island. She told me the water washes away negative emotion if you let it. It always comforted me when I needed it," Amberstone said, her eyes distant as she thought about those days with Heronheart. How her mother would sit beside her by the bank and tell her stories of the river.

Amberstone turned her head and looked at Spottedowl. Even though the tom was nine moons younger than her Amberstone has great respect for the tom. He earned his name after fighting off an owl to save his sister, not an easy task. She also liked the fact he was a hard worker, loyal, and caring for his Clanmates. Amberstone smiled at the tom. "Sorry if I'm bothering," she said softly. "I don't usually like telling others my problems," she added. Amberstone never liked making others worry.